Reunification can be a difficult and prolonged process. It involves the entire family system to be effective. This requires many hours of work supporting family members through the process. The experience or narrative of each child, parent, and extended family member needs to be respected toward a resolution. One that ideally normalizes the relationship and parenting time with the child and the resisted parent, and lowers conflict between the parents so children are kept out of the middle.
Established research in the family law field recognizes the value of experiential therapies as a modality that can more rapidly help families overcome severe resist / refuse dynamics and other parent-child contact problems. Mind-Body oriented approaches may be particularly powerful in helping clients navigate and overcome anxiety, distrust, and distress around reintegrating a family.
In reunification / reintegration work, finding an outpatient therapist to collaborate with the reunification specialist is often beneficial. The therapist should be knowledgeable and experienced, and have a broad skill set covering some, if not most, of the areas listed below.
Providing clients psycho-education on Interpersonal Neurobiology, Attachment Theory and Polyvagal theory is also very useful. This enables the therapist to be most effective for the therapeutic challenges that are likely to arise. A willingness to work with all members of the family system is strongly recommended.
Family Systems Orientation
Improving Coping Skills
Emotional Regulation
Mindfulness
Motivational Interviewing
Collaborative Problem-solving Techniques
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Exposure Therapy and Systematic Desensitization
Post-Divorce / Separation Adjustment
Blended Family Integration
Addiction / Substance Abuse
Domestic Violence / Coercive Control Training
Familiarity with Court Involved Cases (CIT)
BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) and ACT (Accurate, Complete, Timely) Guidelines for Co-Parent Communication
Play Therapy, Brain Spotting, EFT, EMDR, Mind-Body techniques, Equine Assisted Psychotherapy
As we navigate a path to resolve parent-child contact problems, it is necessary to focus on the present, move past the grip of stuck resentment and mistrust, and put energy toward healing and repair. It is the job and responsibility of the reunification expert to assess how a parent and / or child are managing these goals. The appointed reunification provider has the authority to recommend appropriate interventions, including additional treatment. This applies to any family member referenced in the Court Order.
Examples of therapeutic benefits that mind-body approaches promote, include the following:
1. Awareness in being present to the physiological, cognitive, behavioral and emotional response in each moment.
2. Self compassion for whatever is coming up in the moment.
3. Mindful choice in action.
Move from a preoccupation with “why” something is happening to initial awareness of “what” is happening, without judgement.
Focus on being versus doing, not worried about the outcome.
Forgive oneself for past poor decisions and behavior.
Increase patience and understanding with others.
Understand the reality of the nervous system’s unconscious, protective response to a stressor (Polyvagal Theory and Neurobiology).
“The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.”